Blending Healthy Families: Equity vs Equality
Welcome to the Blending Healthy Families Blog!
This week we’re touching on the realities of what is fair in your blended home.
Have you seen that photo where there are three different height people looking over a fence? The first slide is that each person is given the same size box, leaving the tallest to still see over, the medium to see over on his tiptoes and the shortest to still not see. The second slide shows the tallest doesn’t get a box but can still see over, the medium gets one box and can see over, the shortest gets two boxes and can now see over.
The lesson to be learned is that not everyone gets the same thing, but that everyone gets what they need to succeed.
As parents - and stepparents - it is our job to understand how each of our kids blends into our family. What makes them tick? What makes them happy? What sends them into a spiral?
It’s probably not the same for each kid.
Through this week’s episode, I give you some examples of how our family overcomes the hardships of sibling rivalry, educational gaps and house duties.
It’s also important to understand how we show up in this space, too.
I used to resent my husband for “forgetting” about me when the kids would come around.
Seriously, he would (and still does) fall asleep in their beds, let them break table rules and makes me the “bad cop” most days. I would get so mad! I had to realize that while it wasn’t fair that he spent more time with them...that’s what our collective household needed at the time.
I found ways around the transition. We scheduled date nights when the kids weren’t around. We spoke about nights that needed more conversations and which ones we could sleep separately.
IN THE END:
It’s about figuring out what works for your family. We decided since we only have the kids 2 days a week, we would not plan anything when they’re here. It’ll be a relaxed environment where we aren’t taking time away from them. We will do that on other days. We won’t plan these action-packed weekends where we’re constantly on the go. But we will plan in trips to grandparents, fishing and soccer games and family workouts. The key is that if the kids are here, we’re doing stuff together. We only have a few more years before sports, friends and life pull them away from us.
Let us know - how does your blended family handle fairness in the home?
This week, we’re featuring one of the most FAIR meals I could think of: NACHOS!
Sheet Pan Nachos
Serving Size: 4-6 Time: 15 mins
Recommendation: Serve buffet style and allow everyone to put their own toppings on
½ bag corn or grain-free tortilla chips
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
Salsa/ Pico de Gallo
Preheat oven to 350*
Line sheet pan with parchment paper
Spread nacho chips evenly (but liberally) across pan
Place in oven for about 10 minutes until cheese is fully melted
Top with any and all veggies/dressings
Serve with your favorite margarita or try this refreshing non-alcoholic drink:
1 can lime sparkling water
1 can orange Zevia soda
1 tsp lime juice
Salt for the rim
We LOVE having sheet pan nachos and letting everyone add their toppings as they want. I typically go for the supreme, while my husband leaves off the tomatoes and the kids leave off pretty much everything but the cheese!
It makes for a stress free meal and everyone walks away full and happy.
I challenge you to try this recipe and let me know what you think!
Then subscribe to our podcast and catch us every other Wednesday as we walk through life...Blending Healthy Families!!